Sunday, April 24, 2011

Just Some Thoughts...

You might make fun of my confession that I have watched the show "One Tree Hill" since the very first episode and now I think it's season 8. That means I have been watching since high school. It's a pretty cheesy show a lot of the time, but a devoted fan can't just quit watching. (Unless the show is LOST and that one I didn't mind phasing out...) Anyway, one thing I love about the show is that it always has great quotes from significant people or authors. Well, on the latest episode, one of the characters was having a baby. The quote I heard is this...

"Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of us."
-Rabindranath Tagore

Maybe it's because I am due to have a baby at any time, but this quote instantly made me choke up. I wrote it down right away and pondered over it for quite some time. (Asa is asleep which makes pondering possible on occasion.) It is such a short, simple quote, but I can't think of any other phrase which has made me feel so hopeful and loved by God. I sat thinking about my short experience with motherhood so far and I admit that it has been the hardest, yet most joyful experience of my entire life. When I think of Asa growing older, I want to cry because I know how much I will miss his sweet little voice and broken speech and funny phrases and toddler antics. I know that joy will come with every phase of his life but I realized that I don't cherish every moment like I should. Now, with a sweet little girl coming into our family soon, I feel overwhelmed with the love that God has for me. The trust he must instill in us to bring forth his children and nurture them in the midst of this harsh world is unfathomable. It makes me realize that having children really is proof that God truly believes in us and our capabilities to care for his most precious spirits. I bet if he could keep them safely tucked away with him then he would, but he knows that we need to be provided with the opportunity to know Him through the innocence, love and joy that comes with every child of God. I am so grateful for the chance my Father in Heaven is giving me to experience this new role as a mother. My heart feels as though it might burst when I think of soon having two sweet spirits as my children. There is no love comparable except for the love that our Father in Heaven has for each of us.